This is a piece I wrote recently about a young girl facing a dilemma: does she follow the rules she's been taught, or does she go with her heart on this one? She goes back to the source for help, but ultimately, the decision is hers to make. Hers and hers alone.
The Only Luxury
Mommy,
You'll be so proud of me,
I've found myself the perfect man, finally!
He's got PhD.s and all kinds of other degrees
from the best universities you could ever imagine.
He's got a great job in a big company
And my friends are all jealous of me
because I managed to bag him.
And mommy,
you should see when I go shopping!
The mount of things I take home in my shopping bag dem.
Gucci dis, Louis dat,
name any designer and you know I got dem.
And I don't even have to do a thing.
He says no wife of his should be working,
so all I have to do when I'm not shopping,
is take care of the house for him,
and make my daily trips to the gym
to keep this body looking right for him
so i'll look good on his arm at company functions and things.
But mommy,
On nights when he's been out drinking,
He comes in with his arms swinging,
and when I look in the mirror the next morning,
I don't even know this person I'm seeing
because her face is so badly swollen
from the beating and the biting and the kicking and the thumping and the slapping and the boxing.
And my womb is still crying.
Woie mommy!
I don't even feel like going shopping anymore because my friends don't believe me anymore when I tell them I walked into a door and that's what caused my latest bruising.
Mommy,
I don't feel like going shopping anymore, because the only thing I want is the one thing I know I can't afford, and that's to buy my freedom.
Mommy,
I know you're so proud of me,
But if you knew what this perfect man does to me
behind closed doors,
would you still be?
...................................................................
Mommy,
Please be happy for me.
I've found myself a good man, finally.
He doesn't have any PhDs,
and no fancy job or money to spend on me,
But he's got street smarts and so much ancient wisdom in that big old heart that he's opened up to me
for free.
See, he's not asking me to have money to spend on him and buy him things in return for the love he's giving.
And he's not even asking any reciprocity of me.
No, all he asks is for my honesty and that I just be me,
so he can love me.
And he's got history.
He's been through so much and come so far that to me
his courage and ambition are a sheer mystery,
but just being with him motivates me.
And he worships me.
He's got these big old arms that are so big and strong
But when I start acting funny, he just wraps them around me gently and asks,
"Baby, what's wrong?"
And he makes me smile.
Well actually, he makes me laugh out loud like a little child
and I'm so happy when I'm with him
that I’m starting to forget everything that happened before him,
just like my friends who say I can do better than him have obviously forgotten the beatings and emotional scarring
before him.
And I see a father in him.
He's the kind of man who'll teach his little girl that all the material things in this world don't mean a thing
because she's going to leave them all behind when she dies and what really matters is what's inside,
so he'll teach her to be beautiful from the within.
And he'll teach his son to always be strong and have pride,
Be honest in his dealings with those around him,
work hard, and find a strong like-minded woman to stand beside him,
and together they'll make it through anything,
and in so doing,
he'll make his mother proud of him.
Mommy,
I know it's too much to ask you to be proud of me
because I know you were expecting more for me,
But can you please at least be happy for me that I found myself a good man finally?
He may not be “the perfect man” you had in mind for me,
But he loves me unconditionally,
And his love isn’t tied to money.
He's ready to devote his life to making me happy.
For as long as I will let him.
For as long as will accept him.
For as long as I can accept to be happy
With a life simple and free,
A life where love is the only luxury.
Pernais Morrison©
